Not Accepting Defeat

The events that occurred this week are living proof that nothing lasts forever. Things you grow to get used to will eventually die out, and certain people that you've helped and have learned to trust over the past years can just go away in order to get ahead.

Whilst I was busying myself with school affairs this week, my dad broke a rather upsetting news to me and brother. To cut to the chase of this post, our lives are going to have to take a step back for a while. For years, I've seen this coming but have never actually thought that this would come. Perhaps, it is fate's way of telling me that my time as a typical individual's up. A different kind of lifestyle is about to unfold, and I have to prepare myself for the worst. Nevertheless I am not the type to just give up on anything. I, along with my family, will take this head on, and wing through life with our dignities intact. Whatever happens, I will stick to what I have planned for myself for months now. Things may come and go, and they may change us. But it is precisely because they do that could also enable us to look at the other side of the coin.

My philosophy professor have always stressed on the idea of "traumatism". For months, our student lives have dwelled on the philosophical groundings of Levinas - - -  that of which is to keep wounding ourselves to constantly see how sufferings are a great way for us to disocver things we would, otherwise, not be able to encounter and draw meaning from.

When my dad confided in me this afternoon, it was as if everything that I've taken up my current philosophy class just rushed through my mind (i.e. knowing what it means to be human, to put the "other" before oneself without counting the costs). I guess, in some ways, I can see a side of my dad clearly now, where his strictness - that which I would constantly whine about - comes from.
Though we find it hard to express our sentiments towards one another, our father-daughter relationship is not the type to fade into indifference. I love my dad more than any other man in the world. (And to YOU who have decided to take a turn against him and kept him under the dark from certain dealings that just came out of the news today, shame on you for trading mentorship and respect for your own personal gain).

I will never see things the same way. And I shall try to keep my thoughts and impressions of people heavily guarded. Not withstanding the fact that nothing in this world is consistent, I would like to believe that some form of goodness will sprout for a better kind of change. Perhaps, something way better.
I admit that I fear the months ahead. But I would also like to believe that by God's grace, He'll see us through.

Whatever happens, I am not accepting defeat. Not now, not ever.
Neither will my family. My family never has. We're born fighters.